Revenge Is Not Always Sweet.

Hi. My name is Kristin. I began typing out an e-mail message to a man whose profile had caught my attention on the Internet dating site I was currently a member with. I just read your profile and it looks like we have quite a bit in common. And also I think you're cute.

Call it overly bold, aggressive...whatever you want, but one divorce and three years of Internet dating later, I had settled on blatant honesty as my tactic of choice.

We should go check out some live music together sometime. I know some great venues. I finished and hit send.

Later that night when I checked my e-mail, there was a response. A wave of excitement moved through me as I opened the message.

Hi Kristin. It began. Thanks for the message, but I'm kind of getting tired of girls being all into me just because I'm going to be a doctor. So thanks anyway. Good luck.

"WHAT?!" I nearly shouted.

His career path had nothing to do with it and I was furious over his insinuation that I was nothing more than a money chaser. Little did he know, I had had the chance to marry a doctor a few years earlier; a man I was very much in love with who also happened to be a very wealthy doctor. But after months of praying over the proper way to answer his question "Will you marry me?" the answer always came up "No." I wasn't happy about it and I continued to think it over, deciding I didn't particularly like that answer and I was going to just try and figure it out on my own. But when I finally humbled myself and realized God had a different plan for me, I turned him down and cried myself to sleep for an entire year.

"Wow. What an arrogant..." I stopped mid sentence, deciding against lowering myself. Instead I opted for stating aloud to myself, "And that's why you're single and probably always will be." I clicked the "X" on his profile with satisfaction, removing his image from my screen.

A couple of months later I was invited to a singles party. It took me an entire Saturday to decide if I was actually going to attend as I had no one to attend with and didn't particularly feel comfortable showing up at large parties alone. At the last minute my courage (or perhaps desperation) won over and I found myself entering a house bursting at the seams with people. As I inched my way through the crowd, seeking out someone I knew, I caught sight of him sitting on a couch, a blond girl bouncing up and down next to him, talking in a loud, obnoxious voice and making exaggerated gestures with her hands. He looked bored. I smirked as he glanced about the room, seemingly looking for an out.

The corners of my mouth instantly fell as his eyes locked on mine. I returned his puzzled gaze with a hard stare. That's right, I thought. You know me. I'm the on-line girl you insulted. I could tell by his face that he couldn't quite place where he knew me from. I quickly turned my face from him and continued through the sea of people.

Fortunately we never crossed paths again that night.

A few weeks later, as I sat in church, waiting for the meeting to begin, I glanced about the chapel and noticed a familiar profile. It was him. Again. I heaved a frustrated sigh and thought, What's HE doing here? Then I realized a return missionary was speaking and there was an entire group of unfamiliar faces seated near a family I knew from the ward. I gasped slightly and my heart pounded. Oh no. Is he their SON? I thought in horror, looking back and forth between him and the older couple he sat with, trying to match the features. Oh, please no.

It was difficult to concentrate on the speaker. The words of his e-mail continued to run through my mind and I allowed my anger and pride to get the best of me. Feeling a little flushed and in need of some air, I quietly exited through a back door and stepped into the hall, drawing in a deep breath of relief. As I circled around the building to where the drinking fountain was located, I nearly bumped into someone rounding the corner from the other direction.

"Whoa. Hi." The man chuckled.

I gasped and my voice caught in my throat. It was HIM! I could feel my eyes widen in horror. "Hi." I answered shortly and continued on.

"Hey, wait a minute. I think I know you." He said in amusement.

This only infuriated me more.

"Oh, really?" I responded, my flushed face betraying my emotion. "Oh yeah", I drawled, pointing a finger at him. "I saw you at a party, I think."

"Yeah, but I've seen you somewhere else." His brow furrowed and he began rubbing his chin, gazing into my eyes. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning.

Don't remember. Don't remember. I repeated over and over in my head.

"Hey, are you on LDSSO?" He gasped, seemingly making the connection. (LDSSO was the singles site we had communicated through).

I closed my eyes in defeat and heaved a sigh. "Yeah. I WAS on there. I actually sent you a message and you told me you weren't interested. But, anyway. No big deal. Good to see you again. Take care." I spit the words out as fast as I could and turned abruptly, hoping to get away from him as quickly as possible.

"Wait!" He called out.

I froze and shut my eyes tight, heaving another sigh.

"I remember that." He continued. "I know who you are now."

I turned toward him, a grimace on my face.

"I'm so sorry about that. That was...just stupid. I was just upset about something else that night and I totally took it out on you."

I could feel my expression softening. "It's ok. No big deal." As my pulse slowed, I decided to take the opportunity to ask him why he was here.

"Oh, that's my younger brother speaking today." He replied.

"Oh. Ok. That's what I thought. I can see the resemblance." I gave an exaggerated nod.

We stood in awkward silence a few seconds.

"So..." I began, hoping to excuse myself to the bathroom - just to get away.

"Well..." He cut in at the same time.

We both laughed nervously.

"Sorry", he started in again. "I was just gonna' say maybe we could try this again. Do you want to go to dinner sometime?"

I sucked in a quick breath and contorted my face to resemble a pained expression. "I'm actually...engaged." I hesitated before looking into his eyes.

He scoffed and chuckled. "I deserve that."

"I really am." I said, looking him straight in the eye this time.

"Oh really? Where's your ring?" He teased and then folded his arms across his chest, waiting for my answer.

I heaved a sigh and glanced heavenward, trying to determine if I should even get into the whole story of how my fiance and I had not even met in person yet, so there was never an opportunity for me to receive a ring at this point. "It's being sized." I lied.

He nodded his head. "Where is he?" He pressed.

"Who?" I asked.

"Your...fiance?"

"In Utah." I replied without hesitation.

"Ahhh...ok. So...you met him on-line too?"

"Yep." I replied.

"Cool. That's cool. So when's the big day?"

"Ummm....December....ni...nth?" I drew it out in hesitation, making it sound more like a question. Truthfully, that was the day my fiance would fly in town and that's the day we would meet in person and that was hopefully the day we would be married, but that was yet to be determined based upon our meeting. But again, I wasn't in the mood to defend myself against the barrage of questions that usually accompanied my honest answers.

He threw his head back and laughed in response. "Uh huh." He said in a patronizing tone. "Well, good luck with that." And with that he turned and sauntered off.

I couldn't help but scowl at the back of his head as he walked away.

And now this brings me to the present day and most likely the end of this tale.

This morning in the grocery store as I picked over the apples, I saw a man dressed in scrubs approach me and join me. Our arms brushed against each other at one point and I glanced over quick and said, "Sorry" before I scooted a little farther away.

"Hey, I know you." I heard him say.

I stopped what I was doing and glanced over at him again, this time looking at his face. A grimace spread across my face as I suddenly recognized him too.

"Looks like you've got some little ones helping you out there." He nodded towards the two children I had with me.

"Yep." I replied.

"They're cute."

"Thanks." I replied with a smile. "I've got two more just like 'em at home."

His jaw dropped. "Four?!" He nearly shouted in disbelief.

"Yep." I laughed and tied up my bag of apples.

He didn't say anything more so I glanced up at him quick. I could almost see those wheels turning again. I figured he was trying to do the math on how many years I had been married versus how many children I had.

"So, what - did you have twins or something? Or maybe triplets?" He laughed.

"Nope." I replied with a laugh. "I have an almost 14-year-old, a 4 1/2-year-old...." I stopped when his face betrayed his complete shock. "I had a son from my previous marriage." I explained.

"Oh." His eyebrows raised in surprise. "I didn't realize."

"Yeah, well...if you wouldn't have been so quick to tell me off and get rid of me all those years ago, you would have known." I teased, hoping he would take it well.

He hung his head in mock embarrassment and laughed. "Yeah. So...I guess you really WERE engaged, then, huh?"

I pretended to be insulted. "Did you really think I was lying about that?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. Actually, I did."

We both giggled nervously.

"So, what does your husband do?" He asked.

I took in a deep breath and proudly stated, "He's a pool man." Words could not describe how happy I was to report that. "I guess I wasn't after money AFTER all!" I just had to throw it in there.

He grimaced and nodded, looking away.

"So what about you?" I asked, making it obvious I was trying to get a good look at his ring finger.

He quickly hid his hand behind his basket. "Oh, no. I'm still single."

I nodded as if I already suspected that to be the case.

"For now." He added.

"Ah, for now. So, you're seeing someone then." I replied.

"Well....no..." He chuckled nervously. "Not exactly."

I looked into his eyes and saw pain.

"Well, I'm sure that's by choice." I stated, hoping to alleviate some of the discomfort he seemed to be feeling.

"What's THAT supposed to mean." He sounded offended, but played it off like he was joking.

This was NOT going according to my plan. Not that I harbored any ill feelings toward the poor man, especially not after all these years. I got what I wanted, a husband/drummer for my band, more children. But I was hoping for a little more satisfaction than this. Now I felt like the jerk.

I looked him right in the eye and said in a very serious tone, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I seriously didn't. I was just...assuming that....I mean, you're a DOCTOR and a nice looking one at that. I'm sure if you're not dating it's because YOU'RE not interested and it's YOUR choice. I'm sure you could have any number of girls."

"Yeah, well. I'm kind of taking a break from that right now." I could hear the edge in his voice.

I looked at him with concern and waited for him to look up at me again. "I'm sorry." I said sincerely.

Seeing that I'd given the poor guy enough of a hard time, I backed away with my cart and said, "Well, I'm gonna' let you go. I'm sure you're very busy and I think I've harassed you enough. But it was really nice seeing you and I wish you the best."

"Yeah. Thanks. Good luck to you too." He said, not sounding too cheery.

Poor guy. Now I just feel bad. I was kind of hoping for some type of verbal joust where I'd get the ultimate stab in the end and walk away feeling proud of myself. That's usually the fantasy I envision when I encounter a guy from my past who hurt me in some way.

Oh well...I really do wish him the best.

And since he and I seem to cross paths every now and then, I sincerely hope the next time I see him he's happily married or at least...engaged.