The Conclusion - Chapter 2 - Swimming in DE River NIAL

"So....you think you're gonna' have a boyfriend after tonight?" Tobey slurred his words with a nervous chuckle at the end.

I instantly shot him a look of death. "Why wouldn't I?" I spit the words out in disgust, rolled my eyes and stared out the passenger window of his truck, now beginning to wonder myself.

After what felt like the eternal drive to my impending doom complete with stark cold quiet, we reached our destination - Latitude 30. We unloaded our gear in silence, a scowl on my face, a blank one on Tobey's. We pushed through the heavy back doors of the building and trudged toward our makeshift stage in the corner of the bar, completely loaded down with our first batch of gear.

"Hey guys! You're here! I love when you guys come play! It's awesome!" One of the bartenders greeted us, his usual greeting. He was always overly cheerful and excited about something.

"Thanks", I sighed, offering a weak smile.

"You guys need help?" He offered.

"Sure"/"Nah", Tobey and I offered simultaneously.

"Yeah, let him help", Tobey chuckled nervously again and smacked my back.

I shrugged. "Sure. Whatever. I don't care". I set my gear down and followed the guys back out to the truck.

"Hey Frass!" Tobey called over his shoulder.

"What?" I sighed.

"Cheer up! There's other guys out there!" He somehow felt the need to console me.

But over what? I had a boyfriend. I had just hugged him in front of Tobey. Why was he acting like we were broken up? We were NOT broken up! I decided it wasn't worth getting into an argument over. Besides, I didn't have the strength. I ignored him. But what I couldn't ignore was the knot forming in my stomach. I grimaced as it tightened.

After a half hour of set up, we were ready to play. I turned my back to the audience, sipped my water, drew in a deep breath, glanced heavenward and blew it out.

"You ready?" Tobey half whispered.

"Yep. Let's do this." I responded unenthusiastically.

Tobey laughed out loud, "Wow! You sound excited, Frass!"

I pulled out my prized obnoxiously fake smile and shot it at him, then turned and faced the bar patrons. I strummed the first chord on my guitar and our first set began.

With each song, I began to feel energized. The crowd responded well and I suddenly forgot about my personal problems and actually began to enjoy the evening.

"Hey. What's up." I could hear Tobey laughing behind me.

Suddenly it dawned on me, I had been spacing out while I sang - off in another world. I had sung my songs so many times before, it was easy for my mind to drift elsewhere. I suddenly snapped back into consciousness and shot Tobey a confused look. I noticed he was nodding and smiling toward the right side of the bar. I followed the line of his gaze with my head and saw them - two young girls, one blond, one brunette, super thin, fake-baked, mid riffs showing. I glanced back at Tobey, rolled my eyes and smirked as I continued to sing.

"What?" Tobey chuckled at me. But I couldn't respond. Not yet.

The second the song ended I spun around on my heel and placed my hand on my hip. "Do those belong to you?" I teased.

"Yep! Those are mine!" Tobey laughed.

I raised my eyebrow in mock reproach. "A little young, don't ya' think?"

"Naaah", Tobey responded nonchalantly, then turned and smiled at his groupies again.

Besides our monetary compensation for each performance, we were offered anything on the menu at intermission. We typically placed our order as we set up and they would have it ready, hot and steamy, sitting at the bar for us just as we finished our first set. It was a sweet deal. The restaurant/bar was pricey and the food was fantastic. I usually enjoyed this part of the evening the most. I've always had a passion for food.

But tonight wasn't so enjoyable. Not only was I consumed with thoughts of the earlier proceedings with my boyfriend, but now I had the rather unpleasant scene playing out just to my right. Tobey looked like a three-headed beast, his groupies sitting on each knee, their arms wrapped around his neck, sharing his meal and fighting for his attention.

"Here, try it. It's awesome", he'd say, inserting a forkful of food into one of their heads.

"Mmmmmm. Mmmmmm. Oh yeah. That's sooo gooood. Yummy." The head would respond in an attempt at seduction.

"My turn. I want some." The other head would whine.

Gag me.

The giggling and moaning was becoming more than I could bear. I pushed my plate further to the left on the bar and shifted in my seat, facing as far away from them as I could and trying to drown them out.

"Oh! Music! I almost forgot. We're supposed to play music during intermission." I heard one of the bartenders gasp. She dashed toward a small box on the wall and pushed a few buttons.

Relief!

As the music flooded my ears, I found my thoughts drifting back to my boyfriend, our most recent conversations, and the last few minutes before his departure. I suddenly longed to hear his voice. I needed reassurance now. If Tobey felt like our relationship was probably over based on what he had seen, maybe there was something there I was missing. "He wouldn't dump me for trying to pursue my dreams", I thought. But I wasn't so sure now.

I practically inhaled the rest of my meal and jumped up from the bar, shoving my plate toward the center and calling out, "Thanks. Great food." I walked briskly toward the stage and grabbed my purse. I drew in a deep breath and held it in anticipation as I lifted my cell phone out, hoping to see a missed call alert.

Nothing.

"That's okay. He doesn't want to bother me. He knows I'm performing anyway", I assured myself.

I threw my purse down and headed for the back doors of the building, throwing them open. I hadn't realized how stuffy the bar was until now. It felt good to breathe some fresh air. My heart began to pound wildly now in my chest as I dialed his number. I drew in a deep, cleansing breath, pulled the phone to my ear and blew it out quickly as I heard the first ringing tone. It rang and rang and rang. I tried to think of something clever to say. Something to make him laugh. I loved hearing his laugh. It made me want to say something funny every time I spoke to him.

"Hi...." the voice began.

"Hey, honey! How..." I started in prematurely. But alas, it was just his answering machine.

"This is ___________ (Yes, I'm actually protecting this jerk). Sorry I missed your call. Leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Thanks."

I could feel my heart sinking into my stomach. I felt kind of nauseous; the disappointment was almost unbearable.

"Hey", I managed weakly. Then, realizing it wasn't a good idea to sound pathetic and needy at this point, I quickly changed my tone. "Just taking a break in between sets. I was thinking of you. Just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing. We should do something later. Give me a call. You can leave me a message if you want. I'll call you back at the end of the show. Love you. Bye."

I hung up and released a sigh as I gazed toward the heavens and muttered under my breath, "Please call me back. Please." I checked my watch. We had a few more minutes. I paced around on the veranda out back and observed the scenery around me. It was a beautiful sight. The bar we played at was located in an upscale resort located on a small mountain butte. The view of the city lights was breath-taking. I wished my boyfriend was there with me. How great would that be to cuddle in his arms and take in the sight together. Making out in between wouldn't be so bad either. After a few minutes I snapped out of my daze and checked my phone again, hoping somehow maybe he'd called during my daydream and perhaps I just hadn't heard my phone ring.

Nothing.

Now the frustration was setting in. "Why won't he call me? I mean, seriously - what is he doing right now that's so important he can't pick up the phone?" I heaved a sigh of frustration and stormed back into the building. I just wanted the night to be over. I wanted to go home and I wanted him to call.

I could see the three-headed beast still devouring its meal at the bar. I rolled my eyes and called out, "Hey, Tobey! It's time for our last set!" I grabbed my guitar, strapped it on, turned the sound equipment back on and stood there in an impatient stance, trying not to roll my eyes again. I watched the three-headed beast pull apart into three separate beings and Tobey finally approached the stage. "All right! Let's do this!" He called out excitedly. "I'm having fun tonight! Are you having fun?" He asked excitedly.

I pulled my fake grin and shut my eyes. "Fabulous", I replied sarcastically.

Tobey simply chuckled nervously. He knew me well enough at this point to know that saying anything more to me would only increase the intensity of my very bad attitude.

After what felt like an eternity, we completed our final set. The second the final note faded, I spun around and began throwing my guitar into its case, working furiously to take down the stage. Tobey took note and jumped in, working right alongside me. We worked in silence. He only spoke to his groupies who now swarmed us.

Within twenty minutes we had our equipment completely packed up and we were ready to go. It was a new record for us. I opened the passenger side of Tobey's truck and jumped inside. As I pulled the door shut behind me, I realized he wasn't inside the truck. I peered out the back window and saw him grabbing at his groupies, flirting and laughing.

"Uggh. Spare me!" I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I decided to check my phone again. I had waited until now to check it. I expected disappointment and yet when I saw that, once again, I had no missed call alerts on my phone, my spirits sank to a new low.

Tobey jumped into the truck just then, laughing. He slammed his door shut, buckled his seatbelt and started to insert the key, but froze suddenly and turned his gaze toward me. "Hey. You all right?" He sounded genuinely concerned.

"Yeah. Good. Just tired." I replied. It was half true.

"You gonna' do something with your boyfriend tonight?" He asked.

"Yep. Just waiting for him to call me back. He'll be calling any minute now", I sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than anything.

"Cool", he replied and inserted the key fully into the ignition. His truck engine roared to life and he threw it into gear and squealed out of the parking lot, most likely to impress the ladies. I sighed and stared out the window.

Within a few seconds of leaving the parking lot, Tobey's phone rang.

"Heeyyy", Tobey laughed. "What's up? Long time no see." He laughed again. "Yeah. Totally", he called out excitedly into his phone. "I'm totally up for that. Let's PAR-TAY! Yeah."

I could feel myself gritting my teeth. My feet began to tap impatiently on the floor. I picked my cell phone up and checked it again. Nothing.

"No", Tobey continued into his phone. "The more the merrier. What are their names? Shayna? Cool. Who else? Yeah, I know Jenny. Hey, I'm lovin' lots of people bein' there, especially all girls. Cool. All right, well I've just gotta' go unload my gear and I'll be right over." He laughed out loud as he hung up the phone. "Man!" He laughed again, this time speaking to me. "Those girls are crazy! They like wanna' have me come over and get in the jacuzzi with 'em all tonight and they're bringing like five other girls with them. Can you believe that?"

I smiled weakly and raised my eyebrows at him. "Wow. That IS crazy", I purposely responded unenthusiastically. "You and seven girls, huh?"

"Hey, did your boyfriend call you back yet?" He cut in.

I sighed. "No. But, he will. In fact, he's probably just called my home phone because he knows that's where I'm going, so....yeah, I'll just make plans with him when I get home".

"All right. Cool", he replied.

And we drove home in silence. Tobey and I did. His phone continued to ring throughout the course of our journey and I had the unwanted pleasure of hearing more about his wild and crazy plans for the night.