My Other Side

Suspicion is a poison that seeps in through your skin and churns through your vessels 'til it reaches your brain and you become that person you've always feared.

I met Aaron on-line. A dating website. He was cute and fun and...you know the routine with me. We casually dated a while until one night on the town he kissed my cheek as I gazed upon the chemically altered retro nomads dancing about with fire, and eventually whispered in my ear, "I want you for myself."

I snapped out of my daze, slowly moved my attention upon him and searched his eyes, questioning the sincerity of his statement.

"I'm serious," he replied as if reading my mind.

And thus began our serious relationship. But my past experiences haunted me still and, two months into it, when Aaron seemed unavailable for days on end, even just to talk on the phone, I began to wonder.

"I'm just gonna' check one thing", I spoke aloud to myself one night, late, at my computer. I returned to the website where I had first found him and searched as a "visitor".

And there he was. Listed as single and available. I clenched my teeth and heaved a sigh, shaking my head in disappointment...but not so much disbelief. Perhaps my suspicion wasn't so off-base this time. I sat in a daze, staring out my window at the blackened sky. What now? "Maybe I'm wrong", the excuses began to roll in on his behalf. "Before I confront him, I'm going to try a little experiment to prove my theory", I thought aloud.

I instantly set to work, creating a new profile. But this time I wasn't 5' 4", blond-haired, green-eyed, etc.

This time I was 5' 6", slender build, red-haired, blue-eyed, and my name was Natalia. I didn't even waste time with any more superficial descriptions or a silly little intro to "catch his attention". I had a feeling I wouldn't even need that much bait for this little experiment.

Clicking on search, I typed in the screen name I had found him under and studied the profile one more time. "You're gonna' be sorry if you're cheating, my man", I threatened aloud in a slightly psychotic, sing-song, half whisper of a tone.

"Send A Message" I clicked and typed:

You're cute. Are you really single? Too good to be true, if you are. I'd love to meet you.

I checked back a day later and, just as I had suspected, this fish was easily caught.

You sound hot. Send me some photos.

That was his reply.

A knot instantly formed in my stomach. I was sickened.

"You want pictures?" I said aloud. "Oh, I'll give you pictures all right."

I found a Russian Mail Order Bride website, cracked my knuckles, put a little Fiona Apple on the stereo, just to keep the fire fueled and worked some evil magic. It didn't take me long to find a match for my fabricated description.

"There you go, sucker", I hissed as I copied the image into my picture folder. "Let's take it a step further," I thought. I googled Images and found some photos of a little red-headed girl who eerily matched up with the mail order bride photos. Totally different websites. Totally random. And yet it all fit together nicely.

"Aw. Here's me when I was a baby", I cooed sarcastically as I selected and copied the image.

"Here's me getting a bath from my mommy. Adorable", I continued, an evil laugh throttling in the back of my throat.

And off went the images to the email he had provided for more "private conversation". "Can't wait", I whispered sarcastically, biting my lower lip and laughing out loud.

Not long after an IM conversation ensued.

HIM: WOW! You're super hot! Love the pics!

ME: Thanks.

HIM: So, we should meet up. Soon.

My nostrils flared and I snorted in disgust. An angry glare welled up in my eyes. "UN-believable", I said aloud. My stomach churned harder. A lump formed in my throat. I picked up my phone and dialed his number.

HIM: One sec.

He typed quick on his IM.

"Yeah. It's me, you idiot", I said aloud. But he didn't answer. I got his voice mail. Within seconds he returned to the IM.

HIM: K. Sorry. Just my buddy calling. I'm going out later to play some poker. You should come along.

I clenched my jaw and glared up at the ceiling, fighting back tears. I was so hurt. So disgusted. My blood so hot, it burned through my veins.

HIM: You there?

I had completely forgotten my IM conversation with him. "What am I gonna' do now?" I thought. The bitterness and anger brewed inside of me so hot, I felt like a simple confrontation wasn't going to be good enough for this one. This one was going to pay a little harder than the rest.

"What if I'm a drug addict?", I said aloud to my computer screen, the right corner of my mouth turned up a bit. My eyes were glazed over. The words on the screen blurry. I squeezed them together tight, wringing out the lingering tears.

ME: You into street stuff at all?

I typed this sentence, not even knowing what I was talking about. A more street-ignorant girl you couldn't find for miles around. But I had to chance it. I tried to sound as hardened and fargone as possible.

HIM: What d'ya mean, baby?

"BABY?" I shouted at the screen. "You're already calling me baby? You don't even know me. You have no idea I'm a drug addict who prostitutes on the side" I instantly rotted Natalia's character in the story. "I'm going to make her sound as filthy and undesirable as possible," I thought. "He wants to go for someone simply based on her looks and do it behind my back? I'll give him what he deserves."

As our conversation progressed, I made Natalia as foul as I could. And yet, his interest still clung like drying tar.

He wanted to meet. He was pushing for it with all of his might. And I agreed. Our conversation ended abruptly then because I couldn't take it anymore. I reminded him he had a poker game and I had a "client" waiting. Yeah. I said that. A client. Late at night. He wasn't even phased.

The Plan: Revenge.

Step One: Set A Date.

Aaron sent me a message on the website the next night, insisting again that we meet soon. I responded:

I know this great sushi restaurant in North Scottsdale. You like sushi?

He responded later that night, stating that he loved sushi. I told him to meet me at Sapporo. The place had a nightclub atmosphere. It was loud. It was dimly lit. It was the perfect location to carry out my evil plan. I gave him the directions and time.

Step Two: Alter My Appearance to Match Natalia's.

I used to have a mole on the right side of my face, right by my nose. Just a small, chocolate brown one. A beauty mark, in my opinion. However, I decided to have this removed. It wasn't strictly part of my vengeful plan. It was something I had been pondering on for a while and had had a few medical opinions on. Now was a good time. It would certainly help. And so, I had it removed.

There was a wig shop in the mall. I had seen it many times. It intrigued me. Now I needed its help. I walked in and my eyes darted about the endless shelves of wigs. I had a particular look in mind. Something deep red, shoulder length, sexy. Found it.

Next stop - Sally's Beauty Supply. I needed some new eye colors. And some false eyelashes.

And finally - a new outfit for this occasion. Something he wasn't familiar with.

I rode home, my disguise strewn about the back seat of my car in various bags, Fiona Apple blaring on the radio, a smirk on my face, the final step playing out in my head in several different scenarios as I hurried to finalize my decision as to how this would go down exactly. I pulled into my garage, grabbed my bags and scurried into the house. I layed everything out on my bed, surveyed it with satisfaction and jumped in the shower.

Two hours later I was ready. And it was time.

Step Three: Catch Him Red-Handed.

I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes late. I wanted him to be there first. I had instructed him to go ahead and get a table and I would find him. He found this to be very exciting. I was so glad. Because it would be. But not so much for him.

I walked up the stone steps to Sapporo, glided past the fiery stone pillar and slipped past the guests gathered in front.

"Can I help you?", the greeter asked as I attempted to slip through the other patrons.

"Oh. I'm meeting someone. He should be here already", I called back.

"Oh. All right then. Go on ahead", the greeter called back.

I sauntered through the restaurant with its dimly lit atmosphere, blue grids flashing, large fish tanks full of exotic fish, drunken, barely dressed, over tanned women and live Ken dolls in over priced designer duds, all sipping poison and ogling over each other. And sometimes my Natalia costume. I shuddered and scowled. I wasn't interested. I was on a mission. I continued to push past the people, squinting through the foggy atmosphere.

Alas, I found him, looking slightly uncomfortable, glancing about the room, shifting in his seat, caressing a glass of his own poison. I rolled my eyes and continued my seductive saunter to his booth. He was gazing the other direction as I slid into place across from him, a waiter on my tail ready to take my drink order. Aaron's head jerked around to face me as I sat down.

"Natalia?" he called out through the noise.

I half smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, hottie", I responded.

"Can I get you a drink?" the waiter called out.

"Water! I'd like water!" I shouted back.

The waiter froze and stared at me dumb-founded. I nodded and repeated. "Just water for now." I'm sure he rolled his eyes as he walked away. I didn't care. My adrenaline was flowing wildly at this point. My heart pounding at a feral speed.

"So, you look niiice", he oozed, a slimy attempt at seduction.

I slid my foot across the floor and rubbed it against his.

"Mmmm," he responded, biting his lower lip and closing his eyes. "You should come sit over here by me".

"Perfect", I thought. "This will get me closer so he can really see me." I paused for a moment, just to build his anticipation. Then, a provocative look in my eyes, I slid out from my position and slid right back in beside him. I rubbed my shoulder against his and he giggled. I giggled too, temporarily forgetting the plan. Forgetting the anger. "The fun is over with this guy. He thinks you're someone else", I reminded myself quickly and the smile fell right off my face.

I felt something tugging at my head. Aaron had reached his hand up to play with the wig, thinking it was my real hair. "Oh no", I thought. I hadn't taken that into consideration. I gently walked my fingers up his arm and took his hand in mine, bringing it back down to the table. "You have nice hands," I lied, pretending to examine them so he wouldn't become suspicious. He reached his other hand over and stroked my cheek.

"You're seriously so gorgeous. Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! You're way better in person, seriously!" My emotions started mixing up. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. He thought I was gorgeous, but he also thought I was Natalia. I turned my head to face him straight on. I looked right into his eyes, gazing into them, wondering how long it would take him to realize. Did I really appear that different? We were up close now. Of course, he was drinking, a little unknown fact...until tonight.

Then it happened. His face began to contort, his eyes examining my face, my body. He squinted a bit and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Wow. I'm really tired or something," he exclaimed.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Yeah", he answered back. "It's the lighting in here or something. You just look really familiar to me. It's kind of weird."

"What's wrong?" I leaned in a little closer, drawing a pattern from his left cheek, down to his chin.

"Are you sure we haven't met before?" He asked, a puzzled look on his face. I was instantly gratified. This was perfect. Everything was going exactly as I had planned it.

I sipped my water and leaned in close enough to whisper in his ear. "Really? You don't recognize me?" I slowly backed away and let him have a good look.

"So weird." He said. "You look like my ex-girlfriend."

Instantly I was angered. "Ex-girlfriend?" I thought to myself. "This is news to me. When was he going to tell me?"

"Are you sure she's your ex?" I leaned in and whispered seductively into his ear again. I pulled away again and this time his look was one of concern and complete bewilderment.

"What's my name?" I whispered in his ear again.

He jerked his head back, squinting his eyes and looking me up and down again. "Natalia. I think", he replied.

I leaned in and whispered again. "Wrong".

"Huh?" Aaron slid backward slightly, rubbing his eyes and squinting at me again. "What's going on?"

"Pay the tab and I'll show you," I spoke aloud.

He waved the waiter over and handed him cash. I nonchalantly slid out, looking away from him, and led him out of the restaurant by hand.

The second we exited the place, the cool, silent air smacked us in the face. And the questions came flying at me as I continued to lead him by the hand past the fiery stone pillars, down the large stone steps.

"What's going on? Are you like a friend of Natalia's or something? Do I know you?" He asked in desperation.

"You know who I am", I replied and led him directly to my car. He jerked his hand away from mine and stared, horror struck. He slowly walked around the back and examined the license plate, running his hand along it, then standing back up and examining me from head to toe.

"I know the girl who owns this car. Did she send you?" He said, an irritated tone to his voice.

"Since when am I your ex-girlfriend?" I responded.

"Huh?" He stumbled back a bit. "I don't know what you're talking about. What the crap is going on here?"

I ripped the wig off and threw my head forward, ruffling my hair with my hands. "Since when am I your ex-girlfriend?" I shouted, enraged.

Aaron threw his hands up in defense. "Whoa. Whoa. You're crazy! This is like totally psychotic!"

"Yeah? You think? I wanted to see how far you'd go. How far you'd make me go." I hissed, pacing towards him as he continued to back away. "You're a liar! And a cheat!"

"You're sick!", he shouted back. "This is going too far!"

"Oh and hooking up with some drug-addicted, prostitute behind my back isn't?" I shouted back. A couple leaving the restaurant scooted hurriedly past us, seemingly concerned for their well-being. I straightened up and looked around me, suddenly aware of the small audience gathered.

"Don't ever call me again! Don't talk to me! Don't email me! You don't exist to me! You understand?" I screamed and turned, walking back to my car. I jumped in, started it up, squealed out of the parking space and took note of him - still standing there - completely dumb-founded. And that was it.